Unraveling…

By the end of the week I feel like I am unraveling.  Little bits and pieces of my happiness and joy have fallen off leaving behind cracks in my facade.  In order to keep up my spirits I need TLC.  I need to be touched.  It is as if my body starts to strain against itself searching for that touch.  The longer it goes without the more stretched tight, like someone being tortured on the rack, waiting for that anticipated meeting of two peoples skin against each other.  Not only does this affect my body but it also stretching my patience out.  I am miserable by the end of the week.  It feels as if it has been longer then just seven days.  How does one come to terms with this feeling.  Maybe I am so attached to that joy I feel when I am connecting to someone because I went so long without ever even knowing it existed.  Now that I have had it I am addicted.  Twenty-nine years of living in your body and never feeling that type of connection… wow.

I know what I am missing now and I need it to survive.  I am not even talking about sex, just a hand brushing against my arm.  Or a face kissing my neck… standing face to face and breathing each other in.  I need that… I want that.

I am unraveling…

~ by jwlrose on August 14, 2008.