Straightforward…

How can you be straightforward and not come off sounding like you are insecure?

The truth is that I am insecure regarding this particular instance but at the same time I would like to be straightforward with this person so that I can know what the hell to expect.

I should probably clue you in on what the hell I am talking about but I feel idiotic for even feeling insecure about this.  I feel like I should be this secure, tough as nails, I am my own woman, woman. 

Ok, ok…

I mentioned in a previous blog that last weekend I payed for everything when I hooked up with PB.  I also mentioned that he said he would pay me back his half if I really needed it.  I really need it… I wasn’t expecting to spend so much money last weekend and so I called him on Wednesday (like he told me too if I needed the money) and told him I really did need to have his half.  He said that Friday would be the best time to do it since he plans on being in M. to go to the WR bar and that he could get it to me then.  He also mentioned he had to be back on base Saturday.  Here is my dilemma.  He didn’t specifically say he wanted to hang out with me on Friday night at the bar.  And so I don’t know if he expects me to collect the money and go or collect the money, hang out and maybe spend the night at the motel.  Do I ask?  Would that sound insecure on my part to clarify that?  I had the slightest feeling that he couldn’t get away from me fast enough last Sunday when I dropped him off in Fort B.  But that could be in my head… or not.  There is no relationship going on with us so there is no expectations.. we have just had sex several times.  I am trying to go into this weekend with absolutely no expectations from him but at the same time I would just like to ask and get that, not knowing what to expect, part over with.

~ by jwlrose on July 18, 2008.